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Those that had daughters could pass their wealth—and often their profession—on to them. In fact, coming from a long line of tawaifs increased social standing. They were forbidden from marrying, but could enter into a different sort of formal relationship with their patrons that made them wives in everything but name. Interestingly, they were seen as existing alongside traditional wives as two sides to the same coin. Where the wife was the respectable way to continue a family line, the tawaif was the beautiful, sensual creature that only a powerful man could attract.
The subject of mut’ah (or mut’a ) is a tricky one. It’s an Islamic temporary marriage, in which two parties enter into an agreement to be married for a set amount of time. The contract can be written or verbal, and all parts of the marriage are agreed upon beforehand, including how much of a “dowry” the woman will receive, what kind of physical contact will be involved, and how long the marriage is going to last.
On one hand, proponents say that it’s a way for two people to live together before getting a full marriage to see if they’re right for each other without breaking any Islamic laws. Some contracts can stipulate that there will be no physical contact, and some are done under the watchful eyes of the parties’ parents. Other contracts can stipulate that the marriage is only going to last a few hours and that the woman is going to get paid for it.
So clear-cut is the fact that it can be used as a way around the taboo of prostitution that some Muslims, such as the Sunni, staunchly oppose it. Because of the time restraint and payment options, they say it’s a loophole for young men and women to have an infinite amount of partners without any religious guilt.
Traveler Warning: Prostitution in China.
What You Should Know Before You Go.
The oldest occupation in the world is illegal but as in most countries, prostitution in China is flourishing. It is relatively easy to avoid ladies of the night if you know what to look for but in some, especially small or locally-run hotels, it can become a nuisance as the room telephone rings at 11 pm to see if you would like a “massage.” Here is some information on what to watch out for so you don’t wind up in a sticky situation.
Avoiding Getting Approached.
Ladies of the night typically hang around where they think clients will be (and where they have been successful at getting them). These include bars, hotels, and massage parlors. It probably doesn’t need to be said but you can probably tell if a woman is really interested in you for your personality or for something else.
We’ve been in some clubs in Shanghai where it seemed like most of the women inside were “working”. While my girlfriend and I danced, my husband and hers were approached not only by women, but also men coordinating work for their girls. It is usually benign and a simple “no thanks” will do. If you feel threatened or uncomfortable, just leave the establishment and move on.
Working girls hang out at hotel bars and lounges. The approach will probably be subtle if you are in an international hotel as these establishments try very hard to keep these women out of their hotels.
In non-international hotels, especially in smaller cities, prostitution is sometimes wrapped right in the workings of the hotel. For example, the on-site “spa” might just be a cover for in-house prostitutes. You might get calls in your room late in the evening from women looking for clients. Typically they ask if you’d like a massage in your room.
Interestingly, some hotels are equipped for the engagement: oils, condoms, and specialty “cleansers” might all be on offer as part of the room amenities. I’ve also had reports of ladies knocking on business traveler’s doors with offers of massages as well as excuses like “I’m thirsty, can I come in for a glass of water?” Again, usually a simple “no, thanks” or “sorry, you can’t come in” is enough. But if it gets ugly, call the hotel management or the police.
Massage and “Beauty” Parlors.
There is probably a legitimate spa for every posing parlor. There are some really wonderful massage parlors from high-end to inexpensive “blind-man” massages. (Blind people were traditionally given vocation as masseurs.) And it’s a shame that you wouldn’t experience a proper Chinese foot massage for fear of approaching the wrong thing. Typically, massage or beauty parlors that give more than just massages or haircuts are staffed with a large number of young women wearing attire that isn’t suitable for massage or haircuts. Again, if you find yourself accidentally in a situation that you don’t want to be in, you can usually just decline whatever service is on offer and leave.
Karaoke Bars and Entertainment Clubs.
Many businessmen find themselves being entertained by their Chinese hosts.
It is common to go from the heavy-drinking banquet to a karaoke bar or club where “hostesses” come to help entertain the male guests. Guests buy drinks for the girls who entertain by singing or chatting amicably with the men. Often, these girls can be paid to accompany the men to their hotel rooms. If you find yourself in one of these clubs, there’s no harm in it. But be firm in your wishes to remain single for the night. It will not be considered rude.
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